“In my peripheral vision, I see the school slogan, Airington is Home, printed out in giant letters on a strung-up banner. But Airington isn’t home, or isn’t just a home for someone like me; Airington is a ladder. The only ladder that could lift my parents out of their dingy flat on the outskirts of Beijing, that could close the distance between me and a seven-figure salary, that could ever allow me to stand as equals with someone like Henry Li on a large polished stage like this.”
I’m posting my review of this Ann Liang’s ”If You Could See the Sun” in honor of April 1st—because one year ago today, Shanghai locked us inside our homes and life changed completely. So what could be more fitting than a book about Alice Sun, a student at a prestigious private school in Beijing who learns that she is no longer able to attend it due to the expensive tuition? The stress and anxiety is overwhelming for her; her position at this school is a core part of her identity. And then, suddenly, she turns invisible.
The science behind her invisibility is never explored (though her aunt does posit some theories to its intended purpose in her life). It’s up to Alice to figure out what to do with it, and who to trust with this information. From this unexpected turn of events comes a beautiful coming-of-age story for Alice and her classmates as she grapples with what this power means and how far she’ll go to gain what she wants.
The old adage comes to mind: “Any man can stand adversity. If you want to test a man’s true character, give him power.” This is one of the main themes in the conversations between Alice and Henry, her former academic rival turned closest confidante. He, as someone born into a very privileged life, can view an opportunity like this as something that can be utilized…to a point. But for Alice, with her back already the wall, the chance to leverage this into a solution to her financial problems is a much blurrier line.
Haven’t we all had a moment in our lives where we’ve been pushed to the limits of our boundaries? That was where I was at a year ago; Shanghai had lost any and all semblance of normalcy and it felt like the world was on fire. We had lived such privileged lives (the role of the expat teacher is touched on in this book as well, which made me laugh a few times) but all of that fell apart almost overnight. Was the stress I was experiencing all that different from Alice’s? If I’d suddenly developed a strange new power that could have gotten me out of that situation, wouldn’t I have used it as much as possible? I loved my former life in Shanghai so much, even when I didn’t—but more importantly, I didn’t want to lose it before I was ready to let go myself. These are big questions, and not ones I was expecting to encounter in a YA book.
Even with so much to think about, this story was overall incredibly heartwarming and comforting. I fully admit that I am biased in this because so many of the China-specific references made me nostalgic as I read; mentions of mantou and noodles, references to Wechat messages, laments over VPN’s not connecting quickly enough. Paired with Alice’s journey of finding herself when faced with the loss of the life she has worked her entire life to maintain, “If You Can See the Sun” filled a hole in my heart that has been left gaping since the chapter closed on my former life in Shanghai.
If it’s not already obvious—I would highly recommend this book (especially to my former expat pals). Ann Liang’s writing is accessible, touching, and engaging; I will be reading more of her books in the future. Truly a stunning debut novel!